My boys.

I know they aren't really my boys, but God's.  But I call them my boys because there is 2 sets of 14 boys here at Amani.  So, when I say my boys everyone knows I'm talking about the 14 boys who live in cottage C.

I cannot begin to express how fun it has been getting to know these 14 little trouble makers.  They are all so full of character... So energetic, mischievous, joyful, silly, and loving.  Some times they sure do test my patience... but the days when they actually listen and respect me make it that much more rewarding.  Today, at naptime after they recieved their hugs they got into bed.  I commented on how well our little mischief maker- Joseph- got into his bed and listened so well, the others began trickling in, getting their hugs and then climbing into bed "How about me Auntie?"  They asked, to which I replied "Oh, you have listened so well! You are such a big boy!"  Pretty soon all the boys were laying quietly in their beds... probably the first time I've ever had them ALL listen to me. Amazing what a little bit of praise can do for little boys.

Meet Edwin.

Edwin is one of the sweetest little boys I know.  He is so quiet and loves to whisper to me "Auntie... Auntie..."  and then just smiles.  He also loves to be tickled- and his laugh is so contagious. He loves bedtime hugs, and singing songs. 

Meet Frank.

Frank has two sides- he can either be extremely mischievous, or extremely sweet.  He insists on kissing my cheek before naptime and bedtime. He also loves to please- "Oh, Frank, do you think you can go to bed like a big boy?"  "Oh, yes, Auntie!" .   But when he's angry he just glares at you. 

Meet Enoch.

Oh. This child.  He knows how to get out of trouble. Every. Time.  He has a face he makes- his mouth goes into a perfect O shape, his eyes get really big, and his eyebrows go up- then everyone laughs.  He can be a grumpy old man and walk around glaring at everyone and then quickly snap out of it once tickled. 

Meet Moses.

Moses is so smart.. he a Frank have very similar personalities.  They can be so charming one minute and then very disobedient the next- but their sweet kisses make up for it. Moses loves to be louder than all the other kids, if it's greeting you, singing songs, or reciting nursery rhythms in preschool- he's plain loud, but super adorable. 

Meet Michael.

Michael has Cerebral Palsy, and since I was here in the spring he has made leaps and bounds.  He is a determined little man!  He crawls everywhere, and always knows exactly what he wants.  He is so easy to please...  He tried standing on his own the other day, and got so excited he would just topple over into my lap, but he tried so hard!  So, so proud of the progress he's making.  

Meet Joseph. 

Joseph is a handful.  Always on the go, whether it means getting into mischief or asking a million questions "Auntie what's yo's name?"  To which I reply something crazy like "auntie Penelope" or tell him "You know my name." Then he laughs.  He can be ridiculously sweet and want nothing but to sit in your lap, or be incredibly naughty.

Meet Sande.

  

Many people get very confused with this little guys name.  Most volunteers call him San-dee.  But his name is really Sunday. Sande just learned to walk, and still is walking around like a mummy- arms stretched out front waiting to catch him when he falls.  Sande is such a good, happy baby- except when he's teething... then not so much.  He is also very ticklish and whenever I zip up his bedtime onesie, he laughs a deep little laugh.  Such a funny boy! 

Meet Isaiah.

Isaiah looks exactly like Oscar the Grouch. Not that he's grouchy though- but when he smiles his toothless smile and his brown eyes get really big, it's so true.  This little man just learned to walk and is all over the place now.  He is always so content and giggling about something... and boy does he love to eat!  

 Meet Malachi.

This little one loves to be carried.  He also knows how to throw a good tantrum.  He's such a cutie and he knows that nobody likes to say "no" to his little arms lifted high begging to be carried. He also loves songs, and whenever I sing he starts to boogie.  He also insists on bedtime hugs.  

Meet Vincent. 

Vincent is something else.  He hardly ever talks and always is busy building something or playing something by himself.  He loves to be alone.  Sometimes he surprises me by saying full sentences like "Auntie kwistianna, here's a toy!"  or breaking out into "Jesus loves the little children".  He likes doing what his brothers do, so if that means running around the bedroom at bedtime... that's what he's doing!  Little stinker.

Meet Richard.  

Oh, Richard.  Richard has the super sweet, I'm still a baby voice.  He can be a little stinker, but his cuteness is always in his favor.  He loves being indepent- brushing his teeth, choosing his pjs...etc. But he also loves snuggles and sitting in laps. He loves being in preschool! 

Meet Eric.

Eric is such a sweetheart.  95% of the time he is quiet, content and smiling. His smile is so big, and he is simply adorable.  He has been doing so well in preschool, and surprised me by knowing all his shapes.  He loves getting my attention and smiling at me. He loves his younger brothers and pushing them on their little bikes. 

Meet Christopher.

Christopher is something else.  He has two HUGE dimples when he laughs.  He also can be very whiny when he wants to be.  He loves being praised for doing good, and that is one of the ways you can get him to listen well.  He has that mischievous side too... like throwing pjs around the room at bedtime. 

Meet William.

William... oh, where to start... William loves to help with the babies, and he has a heart of gold.  Watching him help his younger brother absolutely melts my heart- he is just so loving! He also can sing and leads worship sometimes during preschool. He is so obedient.  Such a good little boy, and wise beyond his years. 

Handing out gifts on Christmas. 

Love these boys and am so excited that I get to spend the next 4 months with them!

  

Grace.

   

Mama Grace found her in the rubbish pile.  Her lifeless body with the trash- thrown away and unwanted. She was only around the corner from our house.  My heart grieves.  If only she had been taken to the babies home, a police station, or hospital. But if only's don't come true. A child who had her whole life ahead of her, tossed away with the garbage.  Nobody to save her, nobody who whispered that she is loved and cherished.

Grace found us the same way too. Laying lifeless by the wayside.  Needing life to be breathed into us and around us and through us.  And we are helpless, death engulfed us and we had no escape. None.  But our story is different than that tiny babe who died alone under the African sun.  Grace found us.  Breathed into our souls and made us new.  Laying in a manger, not fit for a King who came to save, we found grace.  And grace found us.  We were lifted out of the pit of rubbish and brought to new life.  Life because of a Savior who loves the ones who have been tossed aside by the world, but found and made beautiful in Him.  Grace found us and whispered "you are worth something- I'll give my own life for yours". Amazing grace. 

   

   And I can have hope.  Because grace came to save me many, many years ago- because He knew one day I'd be like that babe, helpless and alone, left to die if no one came for me.  I can have hope because one day, because of grace I will spend eternity with the Savior who became small enough to save.

The One who lifted that small babe from the rubbish pile and into an eternity of rejoicing.

The pictures are NOT of the babe who is now with Jesus- but one of our smallest babes at Amani. 

Sometimes it's hard to remember they aren't mine.

Sometimes it's His voice that reminds me.

Sometimes it's their little voices lifted up in worship of this God who is so powerful that He has the whole world in His hands.

Sometimes I want to be able to carry them all home with me.

Sometimes it's their stories- stories of resilience, and of hope.  

 

 Sometimes it's just watching them.  So trusting, so loving, so joyful.

They aren't mine.  They are His.  I don't need to worry about their futures, because God is already there. I am privileged to love them.  To hold them.  To learn from them.  They aren't mine, but how I love them.  

There are days when I totally feel lost.  

There is so much need in this country.  So many broken hearts, and lost souls, and hungry children, and children who need medical treatment, and widows who need a better why of supporting their families, and men who need hope.  

Where I am now, living in this babies home, is a good place.  I love these children so much that the thought of leaving them is hard to grasp right now.  How can I whisper "I love you" one day and then be boarding a plane the next.  It isn't fair.  But, I don't need to worry about that now.  This babies home would have been fine if I never came, they didn't need me.  For some reason though, this is where God needed me.  He needed me to be able to look and see the hurt and the amount of need in this country.  It's overwhelming some days.  I want to be able to do more.  How can I be blessed with so much, and yet do so little?  Don't get me wrong, I love playing with baby boys, feeding them lunch, getting them ready for bed, brushing their teeth... it's so good.  But I still feel like I can be doing more.   And I need to learn how to trust God with this.    God called me to this babies home, He opened up doors, and prepared me for this.  Now I'm here and it's so unsettling to see the need.  We need more christian to leave religion and become true Christ followers. Christians need to wake up.  There is much to be done.  While you sip your Starbucks and chat on your iPhone 5, there's a 5 year old little girl who needs to be adopted, there's starving children right down the road from me, there's women and men in desperate need to hear the gospel and find hope.  It's real.  It's your responsibility because you know. Jesus wasn't joking when He said you need to sell everything and follow Him.  Maybe for you this isn't literally selling everything, but giving up a portion to support missionaries.  Maybe for you it means bringing the gospel to the streets of Chicago.  Maybe for you it means adopting or supporting an orphanage. Maybe for you it really means selling everything and moving to Africa.  Jesus blessed you with much because He loves you.  But now, His children across an ocean from you are starving for truth, for love, for hope, for justice.  How can we as Christian not reach out to His children after being so blessed by Him? Do something radical, because when you do something radical someone will notice and be inspired.  They'll be able to see more clearly what Jesus is asking for.  Follow Him.  Life is hard outside your comfort zone, but it's so much more beautiful in His will.     

It's so, so hard to see the need and feel so hopeless.  But, I'm finding that this place is to sit still and know that He is Who He says He is, He doesn't need me here in Uganda, but He wants me here. He knows of all the hurt.  But He's saying "that's not for you to worry about, yet.  Love these little ones I've placed in your life.".  

 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” 

                   Matthew 25:31-46 

Jesus was serious.  Know that everyday you ignore the fact that people are hungry, alone, dying and in need of so much, you are ignoring Jesus.  Do something. 

I hate the word missionary. I'm not sure why, but ever since my 6 week trip in the spring I have. I absolutely do not mind when somebody uses it, but I cannot bring myself to say it without cringing.   

  

Maybe it's all the "cliques" of missionary girls nowadays.  The kind of girls who stroll through to take a few posed pictures of kissing babies and then leave and spend hundreds on rafting and bungee jumping.  They don't stop and see that as they enjoy themselves and fill themselves with pride of posting pictures to their Facebook walls of village children and children in the orphanages, that those are people on the other side of the lens.  They haves souls.  They don't need their picture taken, they need a kind word or a simple "how are you?". Those babies don't need fake kisses, they need to be held, to be important, to be sincerely loved. 

Maybe I hate the word missionary because most days I absolutely do not feel like one.  How can changing a child, kissing their soft cheeks, reading a story, or feeding a baby be a missionary? I'm trying to love like Him, but they already know He loves them.   How can painting walls, scrubbing beds to be painted or scraping door frames be a missionary- nobody's being told of Christ unless the spiders need to know.  

Maybe I hate the word missionary because there is so much need and I alone will never change it.  Missionary makes me sound like I'm changing something. But I'm not.  If I had never come life would go on in Uganda.  The need is so great, and most days I change nothing. 

I am just a girl who loves living life in Uganda, among orphaned and abandoned children. Among people who have more hope and faith in God than I do. Among so much need. It is not I who will ever change anything.  Nothing will change by my strength.  I am weak. I am prideful. I am afraid.  I am small.  But He is glorious. I am hopeful that God will fill Uganda with Himself, that these people will be overwhelmed at who He is and what He has done, despite poverty and illness.  

Christ has called me to this place not to glory in my own accomplishments, but to glorify Him in all He's done and is doing- He is good! 

Today I'm thankful for a lot of things. 

Thankful for my family back home who encourage me and bring me so much happiness.  I miss and love them more than they know.

Thankful for a God so big and powerful that He can use the weakest, smallest things to bring glory to His Name.

Thankful for a little country called Uganda, filled with familiar faces and new faces, joy that bubbles over and hope that fills you.  A beautiful, beautiful place I am so blessed by. 

Thankful for Amani Baby Cottage and the people who work here.  I have seen His love being poured out onto all these babies. 

Thankful for these beautiful orphaned or abandoned children that bring so much gladness, so much peace and make me laugh all the time.  Blessed that He has given me this opportunity to love them and learn from them. 

 Thankful for the little things; a mosquito net, internet, electricity, a fan, clean water, bug spray, a slight breeze, a friends laughter over skype, tiny hands that slip into mine...

This thanksgiving as I sit in a third world country, far from home and our family traditions, I am bursting with thankfulness.  This is where God wants me and if that means giving up all I know, I'm okay with that.  Because being here and in the center of His will for my life is more wonderful than anything.  

So thankful that when I am missing home I can walk downstairs and find children who are ready to hold my hand and tell me something exciting.  Babies who cherish kisses and hugs and I love yous. 

Thankful for this place and all those around me- so thankful.  

One year ago today they were fully given to us. 

Our hearts were tired from the games their relatives played and the lies they told. 

 

Jesus never let go, even on the days when we were exhausted and the babies were screaming and sick, He always sustained. 




 

Jesus brought three lives from hell on earth to a family who cares for them, who loves them and will fight for them. 

                  
                
                


           Read their story here.