Sometimes it's hard to remember they aren't mine.

Sometimes it's His voice that reminds me.

Sometimes it's their little voices lifted up in worship of this God who is so powerful that He has the whole world in His hands.

Sometimes I want to be able to carry them all home with me.

Sometimes it's their stories- stories of resilience, and of hope.  

 

 Sometimes it's just watching them.  So trusting, so loving, so joyful.

They aren't mine.  They are His.  I don't need to worry about their futures, because God is already there. I am privileged to love them.  To hold them.  To learn from them.  They aren't mine, but how I love them.  

There are days when I totally feel lost.  

There is so much need in this country.  So many broken hearts, and lost souls, and hungry children, and children who need medical treatment, and widows who need a better why of supporting their families, and men who need hope.  

Where I am now, living in this babies home, is a good place.  I love these children so much that the thought of leaving them is hard to grasp right now.  How can I whisper "I love you" one day and then be boarding a plane the next.  It isn't fair.  But, I don't need to worry about that now.  This babies home would have been fine if I never came, they didn't need me.  For some reason though, this is where God needed me.  He needed me to be able to look and see the hurt and the amount of need in this country.  It's overwhelming some days.  I want to be able to do more.  How can I be blessed with so much, and yet do so little?  Don't get me wrong, I love playing with baby boys, feeding them lunch, getting them ready for bed, brushing their teeth... it's so good.  But I still feel like I can be doing more.   And I need to learn how to trust God with this.    God called me to this babies home, He opened up doors, and prepared me for this.  Now I'm here and it's so unsettling to see the need.  We need more christian to leave religion and become true Christ followers. Christians need to wake up.  There is much to be done.  While you sip your Starbucks and chat on your iPhone 5, there's a 5 year old little girl who needs to be adopted, there's starving children right down the road from me, there's women and men in desperate need to hear the gospel and find hope.  It's real.  It's your responsibility because you know. Jesus wasn't joking when He said you need to sell everything and follow Him.  Maybe for you this isn't literally selling everything, but giving up a portion to support missionaries.  Maybe for you it means bringing the gospel to the streets of Chicago.  Maybe for you it means adopting or supporting an orphanage. Maybe for you it really means selling everything and moving to Africa.  Jesus blessed you with much because He loves you.  But now, His children across an ocean from you are starving for truth, for love, for hope, for justice.  How can we as Christian not reach out to His children after being so blessed by Him? Do something radical, because when you do something radical someone will notice and be inspired.  They'll be able to see more clearly what Jesus is asking for.  Follow Him.  Life is hard outside your comfort zone, but it's so much more beautiful in His will.     

It's so, so hard to see the need and feel so hopeless.  But, I'm finding that this place is to sit still and know that He is Who He says He is, He doesn't need me here in Uganda, but He wants me here. He knows of all the hurt.  But He's saying "that's not for you to worry about, yet.  Love these little ones I've placed in your life.".  

 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” 

                   Matthew 25:31-46 

Jesus was serious.  Know that everyday you ignore the fact that people are hungry, alone, dying and in need of so much, you are ignoring Jesus.  Do something. 

I hate the word missionary. I'm not sure why, but ever since my 6 week trip in the spring I have. I absolutely do not mind when somebody uses it, but I cannot bring myself to say it without cringing.   

  

Maybe it's all the "cliques" of missionary girls nowadays.  The kind of girls who stroll through to take a few posed pictures of kissing babies and then leave and spend hundreds on rafting and bungee jumping.  They don't stop and see that as they enjoy themselves and fill themselves with pride of posting pictures to their Facebook walls of village children and children in the orphanages, that those are people on the other side of the lens.  They haves souls.  They don't need their picture taken, they need a kind word or a simple "how are you?". Those babies don't need fake kisses, they need to be held, to be important, to be sincerely loved. 

Maybe I hate the word missionary because most days I absolutely do not feel like one.  How can changing a child, kissing their soft cheeks, reading a story, or feeding a baby be a missionary? I'm trying to love like Him, but they already know He loves them.   How can painting walls, scrubbing beds to be painted or scraping door frames be a missionary- nobody's being told of Christ unless the spiders need to know.  

Maybe I hate the word missionary because there is so much need and I alone will never change it.  Missionary makes me sound like I'm changing something. But I'm not.  If I had never come life would go on in Uganda.  The need is so great, and most days I change nothing. 

I am just a girl who loves living life in Uganda, among orphaned and abandoned children. Among people who have more hope and faith in God than I do. Among so much need. It is not I who will ever change anything.  Nothing will change by my strength.  I am weak. I am prideful. I am afraid.  I am small.  But He is glorious. I am hopeful that God will fill Uganda with Himself, that these people will be overwhelmed at who He is and what He has done, despite poverty and illness.  

Christ has called me to this place not to glory in my own accomplishments, but to glorify Him in all He's done and is doing- He is good! 

Today I'm thankful for a lot of things. 

Thankful for my family back home who encourage me and bring me so much happiness.  I miss and love them more than they know.

Thankful for a God so big and powerful that He can use the weakest, smallest things to bring glory to His Name.

Thankful for a little country called Uganda, filled with familiar faces and new faces, joy that bubbles over and hope that fills you.  A beautiful, beautiful place I am so blessed by. 

Thankful for Amani Baby Cottage and the people who work here.  I have seen His love being poured out onto all these babies. 

Thankful for these beautiful orphaned or abandoned children that bring so much gladness, so much peace and make me laugh all the time.  Blessed that He has given me this opportunity to love them and learn from them. 

 Thankful for the little things; a mosquito net, internet, electricity, a fan, clean water, bug spray, a slight breeze, a friends laughter over skype, tiny hands that slip into mine...

This thanksgiving as I sit in a third world country, far from home and our family traditions, I am bursting with thankfulness.  This is where God wants me and if that means giving up all I know, I'm okay with that.  Because being here and in the center of His will for my life is more wonderful than anything.  

So thankful that when I am missing home I can walk downstairs and find children who are ready to hold my hand and tell me something exciting.  Babies who cherish kisses and hugs and I love yous. 

Thankful for this place and all those around me- so thankful.  

One year ago today they were fully given to us. 

Our hearts were tired from the games their relatives played and the lies they told. 

 

Jesus never let go, even on the days when we were exhausted and the babies were screaming and sick, He always sustained. 




 

Jesus brought three lives from hell on earth to a family who cares for them, who loves them and will fight for them. 

                  
                
                


           Read their story here.

I'm here. Safe in Uganda. 


First off-Thank you to my wonderful church -Point Mallard Parkway Baptist, I have never really "Belonged" to a church family, and I never really knew what it meant- until now. God had told me He was going to move in ways I couldn't even imagine and I know y'all are one of them. I feel like you have totally embraced me and I'm so thankful. God has provided and blessed me tremendously.

photo credit: Brittany Farris

Reading cards under my mosquito net on my first morning in Uganda.

                                           

Thank you to everyone who has encouraged, prayed for, and financially supported me. Without you I would never be here and never be able to do what He has asked of me. I would also not be able to emotionally survive Africa.

Well, it's so, so good to be back and see some of the sweetest little faces on the planet. Here's some of the little ones who will be in my life for the next 6 months. You know you're jealous.

Josephine. 

Mercy and Miriam

Justine

Silly girls!

Precious

Elijah and Edwin.

oh, those eyes!

Sylus. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Uganda.

 

The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. ~Frederick Buechener

   In Uganda I find purpose. I find a joy that I can't explain. When the day ends and the bottoms of my feet are a reddish color from the dirt, and my hands still dirty from holding the sticky hands of children and my mind is filled with things they said to me, that's when I'm happiest.  In the middle of Masese where children live with next to nothing, and all they want is to see their picture or to make you laugh or to have you speak to them... that's when I am happiest.  When their hands stained with filth touches my shirt and I have fingerprints every where, but I also have their smile. When what I thought were necessities are striped away and I have everything I need and yet, a lot less than I had, that's when I'm happiest. When I sit with babies in my lap loving to be loved, that's when I'm happiest. When I'm standing in God's perfect will for me, that's when I'm happiest.  My gladness and definition of gladness has been redefined.  I know what true happiness is, and it's not being the best or having the most. It's being with God, it's seeing Him change you. It's seeing Him show you what life is really all about.  It all comes down to His love. His love that He demonstrated so we could imitate- that's what life is all about.

   So, I'm excited that God has chosen to send me back to that place. In November I will be leaving once again, and will be in Uganda for a total of  6 months. And I couldn't be happier.

   If you would like to support me, you can feel free to use the paypal button in the right corner.  But I need all the prayer I can get.  I want to love deeper this trip, I want to love more like Jesus and care less about what the world thinks. 

Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile. ~Mother Teresa

That's how I want to live; the living expression of God's kindness, His goodness, His love. Pray for me.